is that really a NAME?

So in the month I've been in North Carolina, I've come across two women named "Bunny." One on TV and one I met today at the gym. Huh. I can honestly say in my 31 years of living in Michigan, I never once met anyone named Bunny. Is it short for something? Or did their parents actually look at their little baby daughters and say "I like the name Bunny"? But the woman I met today sort of met my expectations of a Bunny...her second sentence was (I asked her if the muscle pump class we were about to start was good) "and I just went to my 40 year high school reunion and I was the best looking one there." She DID look good but really. Conceited much?

Oh and speaking of names...we were at some place and they had shot glasses, and out of the corner of my eye I noticed they had one with "Harlan" on it. Again, in 31 years, never even MET a Harlan, let alone enough Harlans for it to be common enough to be on things like shot glasses or key chains. Of course I had to look and see if they had any with Seth's name on it. Not that Seth is in dire need of a shot glass or anything (although a little whiskey might not be SO bad if it meant he would SLEEP LATER...KIDDING!!) but I figure if they had HARLAN, they should have Seth. But they didn't.

Now my quest is to meet a couple whose names are Harlan and Bunny.

Road rage

I cannot stand the way people drive around here. I always heard people say that Michigan drivers were bad, mostly for passing left turning vehicles on the right...which is a good point, but I can overlook that one small thing when I compare it to what goes on here.

Ok, so it's in the mountains, so there are hardly any actual straight roads. Which is a change for me, but *I* still manage to drive the speed limit, so why can't the people with NC plates do the same? You're always stuck behind some maroon going 30 in a 50 and it makes me want to scream.

And THEN. Every.single.time I am on the highway, people are braking all over the place. What the hell? Highways are set up for a minimum of braking, right? I can see if there's traffic, but it happens at all hours and at all levels of traffic. Some dude will be tooling along and come to a hill and think he's going way too fast down it (you know, like 70...which IS above the speed limit, but just relax on the old accelerator) so he BRAKES. Causing the line of cars behind him (because you're always stuck behind some slow ass while the insane truck drivers pass you) to also brake. ARRGGHHH!

Part of the problem is that this area is growing pretty rapidly. So the planners of these places keep approving more and more subdivisions, but I wonder if they are thinking "do you think those two back roads that get to that other road where there are 499 new houses will be enough for the increased volume??" Apparently not, because it is impossible to get back to my apartment from 4-6 pm, and there are only two options: the aforementioned two back roads, or the highway that is under construction which causes even more asshole driving.

I almost always call somebody a "dumbass" anytime I'm in the car. I try to say it under my breath but Seth is always back there saying "what did you say Mom? What did you SAY???" So I won't be too surprised if my kids start calling people dumbasses.

Cosmo

I got a Cosmo magazine this weekend...why I don't know. I just read it and think "what the hell???" Here are some things that bother me about it:

1. The Cosmo girl is a myth. The hair, the breasts, the perfect skin...there are maybe 10 women that really look like that. The rest is air brushing, hair extensions, and plastic surgery. So stop trying to make us think that's how we should look!
2. There aren't THAT many sexual positions. Really.
   
3. The grocery store is NOT a good place to meet men! Unless you're looking for a married one, I guess. Single men aren't in there long enough for you to find them, as they only go in for beer, deodorant, and chips.
   
4. If their "Confessions" feature is to be believed, people are having sex in closets, airplane bathrooms, with their girlfriend's/boyfriend's best friend/sibling, or at the gym like mad. If that many people are doing this, wouldn't I have noticed by now?
   
5. The "Guy Without a Shirt" feature....a little hair on a chest isn't a bad thing, is it? Chests that bare are not natural if a man is over 16 and/or straight.
6. You can run an article about hair removal every single summer and it still won't convince me I need to get a bikini wax. Ouch.
   

I know I'm not really in the Cosmo demographic. I'm ok with that.

So the karma fairy bit me in the ass again

We were at the mall today and there were two little boys going AT IT. Fighting, biting, pushing...it was ugly. So I said "I'm glad we had one of each so they're not so competitive." Ha. HA HA. Tonight my kids were fighting over...get this....A PIECE OF PAPER. Paper! I shit you not.

I was reading, and happened to have a piece of paper folded in half in my book. It fell out, Anna saw it, so she was looking at it. All of a sudden Seth forgets all about his new cars (from the new CARS movie that's coming out Friday) that he has been hoarding all night, and MUST play post office with this piece of paper. He cannot LIVE if Anna does not want to play post office with it. He tries to entice her to trade her paper for a post it: "look Anna! Look at this little piece of paper! It sticks!!! It's FUN! IT'S A STICKER!!!!"

Well it all went rapidly downhill from the fantastic post it, and ended with Seth holding Anna against the wall and wrestling the paper from her. He got in trouble, and was crying, and then Anna decided to crumple the paper up, which sent him RIGHT over the edge. Luckily (for him or us? I'm not sure) it was right about bedtime, so off he went.

I guess I need to make an offering to the karma fairy or something.

How do people do this?

Sell their house, I mean? Without it looking like somebody actually lives there? The people that we bought this one from had THREE kids, PLUS she was pregnant...but I think she worked, so maybe it would be slightly easier to keep the house clean if nobody was home all day. But they even had a Golden Retriever and the house was so clean the two times we looked at it. I suspect she had a cleaning service. Hmmm not a bad idea, now is it?

I think it would be ok if my kids went to live somewhere else and took the hairy cat with them. I've already banned the cat from upstairs and the kids from the basement...what's next? They'll have an area of three feet by three feet that they must stay in at all times when in the house.

some people....

I went to some party store to get stuff for Anna's birthday yesterday. First of all, these stores are insane, aren't they? My eyes start to bleed if I'm in there too long. The colors! The balloons! Everything you could ever want for a party!!

ANYWAY, I go up to pay for my stuff and there is just one register open. I'm next in line, there's one lady behind me, and then one lady just walking up when another worker walked by and said to ME "I can help you over here!" So I start to go over there, when the third lady that's just walking up moves her happy ass right over there. I was like, whatever, I can wait 30 more seconds to pay for my Mickey Mouse plates if it's THAT important to her. But the worker said to her "I'm sorry ma'am, I was talking to her" and points at me. I could have said "oh, no, I'm fine" or something, but hell no! So I paid for my crap.

So the girl is done with me and says to cutter lady "I can help you now" and the lady said "no. I wait for her." I cracked up. She was in such a hurry before, but now she's insulted because the girl wanted to help people in order of arrival? Weirdo.

eavesdropping

I always eavesdrop on people, like when we're out to eat. I don't know why...I guess I just like to hear what other people are up to. Sometimes I hear things and think "I can't believe they're talking about that in public!", like they should be careful of all the nosey people out there like me.

So tonight we were out and Seth said he had to go poop, but he can't go when we're not at "home" (which for tonight was the hotel), so then Chappie and I started talking about how WE wished we could go, and I said that I did this morning when everyone was sleeping.

It wasn't till later that I thought "holy shit, what if somebody was LISTENING?" and I was totally horrified at myself, lol. Like people at the Original Steakhouse Sports Theater need to know our entire family's pooping issues.

And the thing is, we usually don't even talk about that stuff. We have a most definite closed door pooping policy in our house. I don't need to see my husband taking a crap. I really, really don't. As soon as my kids can reasonably fend for themselves, I'm OUT.

On being a mother

In honor of Mother's Day tomorrow...

It never ceases to amaze me how motherhood is both the singlemost rewarding and the singlemost frustrating experience. How can someone you love SO MUCH also be somebody that you just cannot stand to be around for one more second some days? How can you go from wanting to lock your children in the basement to wanting to squeeze them in a fraction of a second?

And I get so worried. Most of the parents I know want to do better for their kids than they think their parents did for them. But how do you do that without screwing them up? I was just reading some thing (Dr. Dobson, I think?) and the guy said that HE thinks that leaving your children all your money when you die does them a disservice. What? I always thought that's what you worked for...I mean, you work for YOU and YOUR LIFE, but also to leave something for your kids, so hopefully they won't have to struggle as much as you did. I mean, I can see his point, character is built through struggle...but I would hope that I would have taught my kids right so that they wouldn't lose their heads.

So basically, if you don't do enought for your kids, they're screwed up for life...and if you do too much for your kids, they're screwed up for life. Hmm. I hope it's not as delicate a balance as it seems to be. I guess at some point a parent has to accept that they're going to screw up their kids in some way, and just do the best they can in spite of it.

ANYWAY. Before I had kids, I never really thought about what it would be like. I never "planned" for them or "dreamed" for them...I figured one day I would have them and didn't give it too much thought beyond that. I remember before I had Seth, my cousin said that after she had kids she was surprised just how much she could love someone else, and it seemed like a cliche to me at the time, but it is so true. It IS like your heart walking around outside of your body. I never knew that the smell of my daughter's hair would be so intoxicating (I'm in trouble when she figures out what I'm doing...she would never stand for that much affection if she knew that's what it was). I never knew that my son's laugh could bring joy into my heart, even on the darkest of days.

No matter what happens, I don't regret a minute of my life...because it's what led up to creation of my kids, and I can't imagine life without them.

is this a test?

So I was opening a candy bar (hershey's with almonds) and there were instructions on how to get the wrapper open. "Hold here" and "tear here." I almost looked around for a hidden camera, thinking that maybe it was a test of some sort. If you can't figure out how to get into a candy bar, you are too stupid to reproduce and they immediately remove you from the gene pool. It must be for those same people that need the "do not use while sleeping" warning on a hair dryer.

Stolen from another blog

But it looked fun. SO if anyone cares, I'm going to set my iPod to shuffle and see what the first 10 songs are. Here goes:

1. Jet - Cold Hard Bitch. Oh yeeeahhh. I'm not a cold hard bitch, but it's an awesome song.
2. Fastball - Out of My Head. I keep meaning to delete that one. I like when I hear it on the radio, but whenever it comes up on my iPod I think, "didn't I delete that one yet?"
3. Tom Petty - Here Comes My Girl. I just like the whole "my girl" thing. That's "my girl." I want to be a girl until I'm old. If I don't feel like a woman at 31, when will I?
4. Wham - Everything She Wants. Ok, that's sort of embarassing. At least it's not "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"...NO I don't have that one. And now that we all know George Michael doesn't even LIKE girls...well no wonder he doesn't even know if he loves her.
5. Our Lady Peace - Is Anybody Home? I love OLP. I went to one of their concerts, and it was so good. Good memories...
6. The Lemonheads - Mrs. Robinson. I used to be IN LOVE with Evan Dando.
7. The Cure - Love Song. More memories.
   
8. Don Henley - All She Wants to Do is Dance. This one is more for Anna, she likes it.
9. Beatles - Hey Jude. Who DOESN'T like Hey Jude?
   
10. Carol King - I Feel the Earth Move. I love her, she has an awesome voice.

And that's it.

DANDELIONS!

I love this picture. I just remember being a kid and thinking dandelions were great, too. And I just love how she refuses to let go of them once she's got them. So sweet. Any time we take a walk (because WE do not have those WEEDS in OUR YARD!!! -that's Chappie talking) we have to stop a million times to pick the flowers. She's got a thing for rocks, too. She gets so excited..."I fine a wock!" How can you not get excited, too?

I think I'm going to start blogging again

Not that any of you even CHECK this anymore, I'm such a flake. I signed up on myspace, which you probably know, but I just feel like I might be too old for it. Or not. I don't know. I think I like this format better, though.

very nice, McDonald's

Seth got this in a happy meal. It's from the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe...which are fantastic books and I hear the movie is very unoffensive. No blood or gore in the fight scenes or anything.

I just thought this guy was a funny thing to give to kids. Not for the sword so much, but there's a button on the back that makes his arm move...and he slashes like Jason from Friday the 13th! Haha. I can almost hear it saying "killkillkillkillkillkillkillkill".

want to know what I googled?

"snoring homicide". Because I thought there HAS to be someone, somewhere that was going through the perfect storm: some PMS, a head cold, crabby kids all day...and then got in bed and tried to go to sleep but couldn't because her husband was sawing logs next to her in bed, and she just SNAPPED.

Believe it or not, I could only find reference to some notorious gunfigher who killed some other guy for snoring, and it's only a rumor. Plus he was a pretty badass dude, so I'm sure that had more to do with it than the snoring. But still. It HAS happened.

He's tried the nasal strips. Nothing. The doctor gave him some nasal spray crap which seemed to be working but now...nothing. I think the next step is a sleep study, where he has to go sleep somewhere where they hook him up to some equipment of some sort to see if there's a physiological cause. I just want him to go so I can have one good night's sleep! Can they do a weeklong sleep study?

If the kids were older I'd do earplugs, but I can't right now since Anna's still apt to wake up screaming once every couple weeks for no apparent reason, and of course Seth won't stay in bed for more than four hours at a stretch. And dad's no help in his snoring coma, I'd probably hear them first even WITH the earplugs.

As you can see, the recurring theme in my life right now is NOT ENOUGH SLEEP. It's consuming my thoughts. If my husband wouldn't think it was weird, I'd pay a good price to go stay in a nice hotel BY MYSELF for one night. Ahh the luxury of it.

one of those things they don't tell you

You know, before you were a parent, there were things you knew about kids...but then the bigger list was things you didn't know, and you didn't even know you didn't know them. So you went around in your little innocent haze and had your little innocent picture of how it was going to go once you had your own kids.

So, everybody knows that you're going to lose sleep when you first have a baby. Right? Comes with the territory. Seth was a bad sleeper till about 5 months, and then magically he was fine. Great. Been great for the last 3 or so years.

Of course now we're having this sleeping issue. Won't go to bed, and even worse, gets up at all hours of the night just because...what...he misses me? Or something. Call CPS, but I don't miss my kid at 2am when I'm happily snoozing.

Being the modern mother I am, I consulted my internet friends, and then did a search. And it said that not only is it completely normal for 3 year olds to go through this...but that at age FIVE they usually grow out of it. WHAT?

I could hang if it were just ok, it's going to suck for another year probably...ok maybe I couldn't. But think about it. Anna is 26 months younger than Seth. So....Seth turns five and then....Anna turns three! Which means three more years of potentially dealing with this. I'm tired.

Anyway, my point was, I DID NOT KNOW THIS until now. I thought you had a good sleeper or a bad sleeper and that was how they were FOR THE REST OF TIME. I'm a little disillusioned. I'm trying to remember if I was ever smug about what a good sleeper Seth was. Probably. That's why this is happening. I have displeased the parenting gods.

I better go to bed. I have a date in a few hours.

I'm a crappy blogger

It has been almost a month since my last post...I just actually don't have anything to say. Ok, that's not true. I just don't think I personally like this medium of communication, you know? I love to READ other people's blogs, but I just don't think I have interesting enough things to say on my own. I'd rather post it on the board and at least have something of a conversation about it...so I think I may be ending my short lived blogging career.

seriously....STOP GROWING UP SO FAST!!!

I wish I had believed people when they told me it goes much faster with the second child. I don't know what it is. I guess with Seth it was always so exciting to get to the next stage, since I had never been through it. And now I know that after they're all sweet and cute, they turn three and it's all over....

But really. Look at how much she has changed since her birthday. I know this is when they change the fastest and all that, but that doesn't make me feel any better. LOOK HOW SWEET SHE WAS WHEN SHE WAS ONE! LOOK AT HER LITTLE TOOFERS! SHE EVEN USED TO SMILE FOR PICTURES! She's becoming a LITTLE GIRL.

But ok, it IS cute and fun when they're learning how to talk. My current favorite "anna-isms":

• she says "help you" when she needs help, because I always say "do you need me to help you?"
• if you ask her what a pig says, she says "la la la" because of this book we have where it says "three singing pigs say la la la!".
  
• "I love you" sounds like "I wib yooouuuuu". She says it when I put her down in her crib. I know she doesn't know what it means, but I don't care.
  
• "Seth" is pronounced "Sessss".
  
• For some reason she likes to use this really deep exorcist voice sometimes. Especially when she says "hey baby". Very amusing.
• Frogs (pogs) say "bobbbiittt!"
  

There are tons more, but you get the idea. Intense cuteness all day long. I hate thinking that some day she's going to use that adorable little mouth to tell me she hates me because I won't let her go to some party or something.

Sigh.

I've got the fever

BABY FEVER! Ack. I know I don't want another child, I can barely handle the two I have and after a day of running around with them I'm EXHAUSTED, but...I love babies. Whenever I see one in the 6-12 month range, I am overcome with the need to squish them. I don't squish stranger's babies...I'm not that far gone, but it's tempting.

It's just...it seems like Anna was that little for like 2 seconds and now she's all independent and her own little person. The other day she cried for five minutes because I tried to help her with her fork...she has to do things HERSELF! And she's starting to use sentences. (my favorite was the other day when we were all playing cars: "GET IT CAR!!!") SLOW DOWN! Seth seems like he was a baby for longer, but of course he was my first and he walked so late.

I'm hoping once I start doing clinicals and working and getting to see babies, it will help...hopefully it won't make it worse. Good thing I have an IUD.

Guilt

These are the things I feel guilty about almost daily:

1. The kids watch too much TV.
2. The kids eat too much processed/fast food (I try to limit the fast food to once a week, but they get processed shit every day. They'd starve otherwise!)
3. I'm irritated at Seth so often
4. Anna never gets one on one time with me.
5. I am sending them to daycare. And balking at the $30 a day for the preschool daycare. It would be so good for them!
6. I'm going to school so I can WORK instead of stay home with them.
7. I'm not nearly the supportive wife I should at least try to be. I really get negative about stupid stuff sometimes. LET IT GO, TRACEY!

Gotta love being a mom. Nonstop guilt.

I have a confession

I hate playing cars. If I never had to play cars again for the rest of my life, that would be a-ok with me. That goes for trains, trucks, airplanes...ANY other mode of transportation. I feel like my brain is being sucked out as I drive around the track over and over and OVER again. But I do it. Because Seth wants me to. I try really hard to act like it's fun, too. It's tough some days.

I know some day when he'd rather play with his friends, I'm going to wish he would play with me. Some day when he thinks I'm the most uncool (or whatever word they'll be using then) female on the planet (besides his sister, of course), I'm going to miss these days. But I still hate playing cars.

I wonder if I'll feel the same way about Barbies (or Bratz...seems like Barbie is on her way out, huh?). Speaking of...I'm considering banning Bratz on principle. They're hos! Big pouty lipstick lips, dressed like they're going out to pick up dudes. But then I try to think...did playing with Barbies influence me in any way? I don't think I need boobs big enough to make me fall over and a waist the circumference of a pie pan. Maybe I'm overthinking it.