Music

I know I'm getting older in that I find myself not liking much new music and thinking that the music from "my" era was the best. My era was the 90s; the birth of grunge and the aftermath. I remember the first time I saw "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and "Evenflow" on MTV. I was in complete, open mouth awe. THIS was the music I had been waiting for. THESE troubled people were the ones that were speaking for my generation.

But you know, as much as I love the music still, it's hard for me to listen to it. I really have a tendency to heavily associate whatever songs are out with whatever is going on in my life...so almost every single song is all wrapped up in some guy or other. Kind of sad, huh?

Most of the early stuff reminds me of my first boyfriend Eric. All that really angry stuff always brings back those intense feelings of first love gone bad. Alice in Chains especially, because damn, that was angry shit. And I was an angry girl.

And then there are a few songs here and there that will bring back somebody I dated only briefly, and most of these are not great memories either. I can't listen to John Lennon (who I LOVE) because it totally reminds me of this TOTAL PSYCHO I dated. Every single time I hear "Woman" I want to kick myself for ever letting that man within ten feet of me. UGH.

The entire "Before These Crowded Streets" CD reminds me of Chris the volleyball player and that summer we had together. I spent the summer on the beach, watching him play, and then we'd go out down in Saugatuck at night and drink and dance...yeah, those are good memories. Even though I know it would never have worked out permanently with him, that was a fun summer.

And then pretty much everything else reminds me of my husband. This summer, we have known each other ten years. So I was 21 when we met, and I'm 31 now...so basically the great majority of my adult life and the music from those years, all wrapped up in him. Some good, a lot bad...there were so many melancholy times in my life where we were on the outs, and so many songs that bring that back. I have this CD by Counting Crows from when they were on VH1 storytellers, and they are my favorite band and it is a GREAT CD. But it just makes me so sad that I only listen to it if I'm already feeling that way.

Anyway. I'm not sure what the point of this post is, just something I was thinking about today.