some people....

I went to some party store to get stuff for Anna's birthday yesterday. First of all, these stores are insane, aren't they? My eyes start to bleed if I'm in there too long. The colors! The balloons! Everything you could ever want for a party!!

ANYWAY, I go up to pay for my stuff and there is just one register open. I'm next in line, there's one lady behind me, and then one lady just walking up when another worker walked by and said to ME "I can help you over here!" So I start to go over there, when the third lady that's just walking up moves her happy ass right over there. I was like, whatever, I can wait 30 more seconds to pay for my Mickey Mouse plates if it's THAT important to her. But the worker said to her "I'm sorry ma'am, I was talking to her" and points at me. I could have said "oh, no, I'm fine" or something, but hell no! So I paid for my crap.

So the girl is done with me and says to cutter lady "I can help you now" and the lady said "no. I wait for her." I cracked up. She was in such a hurry before, but now she's insulted because the girl wanted to help people in order of arrival? Weirdo.

eavesdropping

I always eavesdrop on people, like when we're out to eat. I don't know why...I guess I just like to hear what other people are up to. Sometimes I hear things and think "I can't believe they're talking about that in public!", like they should be careful of all the nosey people out there like me.

So tonight we were out and Seth said he had to go poop, but he can't go when we're not at "home" (which for tonight was the hotel), so then Chappie and I started talking about how WE wished we could go, and I said that I did this morning when everyone was sleeping.

It wasn't till later that I thought "holy shit, what if somebody was LISTENING?" and I was totally horrified at myself, lol. Like people at the Original Steakhouse Sports Theater need to know our entire family's pooping issues.

And the thing is, we usually don't even talk about that stuff. We have a most definite closed door pooping policy in our house. I don't need to see my husband taking a crap. I really, really don't. As soon as my kids can reasonably fend for themselves, I'm OUT.

On being a mother

In honor of Mother's Day tomorrow...

It never ceases to amaze me how motherhood is both the singlemost rewarding and the singlemost frustrating experience. How can someone you love SO MUCH also be somebody that you just cannot stand to be around for one more second some days? How can you go from wanting to lock your children in the basement to wanting to squeeze them in a fraction of a second?

And I get so worried. Most of the parents I know want to do better for their kids than they think their parents did for them. But how do you do that without screwing them up? I was just reading some thing (Dr. Dobson, I think?) and the guy said that HE thinks that leaving your children all your money when you die does them a disservice. What? I always thought that's what you worked for...I mean, you work for YOU and YOUR LIFE, but also to leave something for your kids, so hopefully they won't have to struggle as much as you did. I mean, I can see his point, character is built through struggle...but I would hope that I would have taught my kids right so that they wouldn't lose their heads.

So basically, if you don't do enought for your kids, they're screwed up for life...and if you do too much for your kids, they're screwed up for life. Hmm. I hope it's not as delicate a balance as it seems to be. I guess at some point a parent has to accept that they're going to screw up their kids in some way, and just do the best they can in spite of it.

ANYWAY. Before I had kids, I never really thought about what it would be like. I never "planned" for them or "dreamed" for them...I figured one day I would have them and didn't give it too much thought beyond that. I remember before I had Seth, my cousin said that after she had kids she was surprised just how much she could love someone else, and it seemed like a cliche to me at the time, but it is so true. It IS like your heart walking around outside of your body. I never knew that the smell of my daughter's hair would be so intoxicating (I'm in trouble when she figures out what I'm doing...she would never stand for that much affection if she knew that's what it was). I never knew that my son's laugh could bring joy into my heart, even on the darkest of days.

No matter what happens, I don't regret a minute of my life...because it's what led up to creation of my kids, and I can't imagine life without them.

is this a test?

So I was opening a candy bar (hershey's with almonds) and there were instructions on how to get the wrapper open. "Hold here" and "tear here." I almost looked around for a hidden camera, thinking that maybe it was a test of some sort. If you can't figure out how to get into a candy bar, you are too stupid to reproduce and they immediately remove you from the gene pool. It must be for those same people that need the "do not use while sleeping" warning on a hair dryer.

Stolen from another blog

But it looked fun. SO if anyone cares, I'm going to set my iPod to shuffle and see what the first 10 songs are. Here goes:

1. Jet - Cold Hard Bitch. Oh yeeeahhh. I'm not a cold hard bitch, but it's an awesome song.
2. Fastball - Out of My Head. I keep meaning to delete that one. I like when I hear it on the radio, but whenever it comes up on my iPod I think, "didn't I delete that one yet?"
3. Tom Petty - Here Comes My Girl. I just like the whole "my girl" thing. That's "my girl." I want to be a girl until I'm old. If I don't feel like a woman at 31, when will I?
4. Wham - Everything She Wants. Ok, that's sort of embarassing. At least it's not "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"...NO I don't have that one. And now that we all know George Michael doesn't even LIKE girls...well no wonder he doesn't even know if he loves her.
5. Our Lady Peace - Is Anybody Home? I love OLP. I went to one of their concerts, and it was so good. Good memories...
6. The Lemonheads - Mrs. Robinson. I used to be IN LOVE with Evan Dando.
7. The Cure - Love Song. More memories.
   
8. Don Henley - All She Wants to Do is Dance. This one is more for Anna, she likes it.
9. Beatles - Hey Jude. Who DOESN'T like Hey Jude?
   
10. Carol King - I Feel the Earth Move. I love her, she has an awesome voice.

And that's it.

DANDELIONS!

I love this picture. I just remember being a kid and thinking dandelions were great, too. And I just love how she refuses to let go of them once she's got them. So sweet. Any time we take a walk (because WE do not have those WEEDS in OUR YARD!!! -that's Chappie talking) we have to stop a million times to pick the flowers. She's got a thing for rocks, too. She gets so excited..."I fine a wock!" How can you not get excited, too?

I think I'm going to start blogging again

Not that any of you even CHECK this anymore, I'm such a flake. I signed up on myspace, which you probably know, but I just feel like I might be too old for it. Or not. I don't know. I think I like this format better, though.