First of all, I don't know how you got the impression that I want to pet you at 6 a.m., but I don't. Please wait until my eyes are open and I am moving before you start licking my face, meowing, and purring. It's not cute before sunrise, trust me.
If the kids are up, just hide. You know at some point they're going to chase you, so why do you even bother? Do you wake up each morning thinking, "today is going to be the day when they don't chase me"? While I admire your optimism, they are going to chase you. Every day. Please make a note of it.
The bed does not belong to you. I know this is a tough one, as you sleep on it all day without incident. At night when we get in it, you're going to have to adjust accordingly. Two tall people in a queen size bed do not leave a lot of room for a cat...so don't get pissed and try to maul my foot every time I move. And last night, when you snuck up and were sleeping in the pillows (with your butt dangerously near my face)...let's just see that never happens again, ok?
I promise I will not suck you up in the vacuum. You can still hiss at it and run when I bring it out, but I just want to ease your mind.
If you're going to spend 10 minutes scratching litter after you poop, why don't you try to actually cover the poop instead of spreading cat litter for a three feet radius around the box? Just a suggestion.
And one final thing...making a mad dash for the door when it's open is really a bad idea. I'm pretty sure that's how you ended up at the pound in the first place, and I would like to keep you if at all possible.
Thank you and stay fuzzy.
4 comments:
I really hope he reads this.
your hysterical!!!!
How did I not comment on this? I'm repeating myself but you need to right a commentary column for a newspaper. Seriously. I look forward to every entry (no pressure though).
LOLOLOLOL i love it!
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