Friday rants

1. Graham cracker packaging. WTF? It's impossible to get into the damn things without breaking half of them and/or covering your kitchen with crumbs. There has to be a better way.
2. The post office. Why could I get my People on Friday in Michigan, but not in North Carolina? I know it's not "late", but I'm used to getting my useless news on FRIDAY, and Saturday, or Monday, or even Tuesday is just not acceptable to me.
3. People that think way ahead. I went to the movie store this morning, hoping to avoid the weekend rush and secure a copy of Curious George for the kids to watch. First of all, they only had 8 copies, and secondly, they were ALL GONE. Gone!
   
4. The movie store. Not just for only having 8 copies of a new kid's release, but for their bullshit "two day rental." I got a movie at 11:30, and it has to be back by noon tomorrow. That is precisely 24.5 hours. NOT two days. I don't CARE if those 24.5 hours are in two separate days. It's NOT two days.
   
5. Stupid NickJr. If you're going to have a new episode of a show for the first time in forever, why the hell are you advertising it for a month beforehand? KIDS DON'T GET IT WHEN YOU SAY "OCTOBER 9." They want to see the Backyardigans in the rocket ship like yesterday. I don't know what purpose this early advertising serves, except to make parents insane.
   
6. Kids's networks in general. Get with the program. REAL TV shows have a whole season of new shows, and then they take a break in the summer and show reruns. This new show every 6 months is annoying, and yet you advertise it like we should throw a damn party. MAKE MORE NEW SHOWS. (no I don't let my kids watch tv all the time, BUT there are certain shows they like, but they are always reruns. Not that they really care.)
7. This TJ Maxx. Now, I LOVE the Maxx. But I hate how the aisles are so narrow and stuffed with crap that you can't get a cart down them. Why have carts if I can't fit them down the aisles? I mean, I know the place is just chock full of super bargains, but get somebody to organize your layout or something, people.
   

Resistance is futile

When my kids were born, I was sort of anti-kids' music. I don't think it matters when they're really little, and then as Seth got bigger, I noticed he liked Barenaked Ladies, then the Beatles, and other "real" music. I mean, sure, we sang the songs ourselves, but I couldn't stand the CDs where kids sang, or even worse, when they use *that lady* with the really cloying voice. You know *that lady*, right? It might be different people, but they all have that certain kind of voice.

Well. Let me tell you. I listened to a veggie tales CD TWO TIMES today. And we have this other one with all those nursery rhyme songs on it sung by *that lady* AND kids...of course the kids love it. I'll look back and see them both slack jawed, soaking it all in. It's like I've deprived them of this vital nourishment their whole lives, and now they're making up for the lack. And of course it can't be Laurie Berkener that gives them this response, because I actually enjoy her music...it has to be the most annoying kind of kids' music in existence.

Of course I put it on. Anna has gotten particularly demanding in the car lately, and I have the choice to either lose my ever loving mind from her screaming, or from the horrible music. Since the music doesn't make me want to jump out of the moving vehicle, I'm going with that.

I know this is just the beginning. In a few short years they will be harassing me to put in whatever it is kids are going to be listening to then. I can't wait!!!

Tootsies

Anna wanted "pretty toes" so here they are. I don't care if I steered her toward it, I'm glad pink and purple are her favorite colors, that she likes her toes painted, and her current favorite toy is a pink stuffed pegasus with a purple and silver mane.

In my defense, she also likes to run and get dirty and isn't afraid to smack her brother when he gets in her face. (of course she gets time outs for it, but I'm secretly glad she fights back)

SUPER EXTREME MEGA HUMONGOUS!

You know the trend to be bigger and better has gone too far when your roll of toilet paper doesn't even fit on the dispenser. We have some Charmin super de-duper rolls or whatever they're calling them, and they say "our biggest roll ever!" like it's some big accomplishment to wrap more paper around a cardboard tube. I just want to be able to turn the damn roll and get some tp! Where does it end?

I don't get it

I LOVE the internet. Think it's the best thing EVER. Of course it has it's downfalls, like anything, and I think the biggest one is that it brings the weirdos together. I mean, there were always pedophiles and people who like to be crapped on out there, but before the internet, they kept it low key because they KNEW they were fucked up, right? But now there are communities out there for every damn thing, and the weird and hateful now know that there are OTHER weird and hateful people out there just like them, and now they don't feel so weird anymore. Things that were once frowned upon, and still should be, are becoming more acceptable, and in some cases, even mainstream.

I think it's fine for some things...I mean, if someone WANTS be crapped on and can find someone to be the crapper, well everyone's happy there, right? So whatever. You have your life and I have mine, and if I choose to keep the crap in the toilet, well that's my prerogative.

The thing that gets me the most is the child haters. There are TONS of message boards out there for them, and now it's OKAY to hate kids! I mean, not that it wasn't before, but this is really extreme. Wishing bodily harm and/or death on children? Why is this ok? If someone said the same thing about their DOG, they'd be horrified, but for some reason in their mind it's ok to joke about a kid getting kidnapped or hit by a car.

I get that some people don't want to have kids. I can see why they feel that way! It's not for the faint of heart, that's for sure. Of course (and I know the child free HATE when people say this), they have no idea what they're missing out on, and most of the time the rewards far outweigh the fact that you have to give up your carefree jet-setting lifestyle that the child-free always cite as one of their reasons for not having kids...but whatever. Your choice, I could care less.

And yes, I do know that not all child-free people necessarily hate children or wish them harm. I hope it's a small but vocal minority. I read some of the postings on these message boards and I'm pretty sure that a lot of the people on there that say they told this "breeder" or that "crotchfruit" off are full of shit, too.

So yeah, I don't get it. Apparently these people wish that everyone would stop having kids. Okay. Let's say for a minute that this was possible. Then what? And (another argument I'm sure they hate) who is going to take care of the old and infirm? And I don't mean financially...I'm sure people without kids are especially able to put aside money for the eventuality that they won't be able to take care of themselves, but who is that money going to be paying? It's those people who are kids now, that are going to grow up to be doctors, or nurses, or pharmacists, or even ass wipers at nursing homes.

Whitney Houston may be certifiably insane, but she was right: children ARE our future. And most of us horrible breeders are doing the best we can, and our kids are going to grow up to be responsible citizens. And maybe we can round up all the people that didn't want them to grow up and they can figure out how to take care of themselves without the help of those they now refer to as "demon spawn."