- Pick a theme and go with it. Santa was not present at the birth of Jesus, so if you have a nativity scene, St. Nick should probably sit this year out.
- Along the same lines, decide on a color scheme and decorate accordingly. I don't want to see red lights in your trees, blue lights in your bushes, then green lights around your house. It doesn't look festive, it looks stupid.
- Please rethink any figures that are taller than you. Frosty is sort of scary at 10 feet tall. Is scary the look you're going for? I hope not.
- If your lights can be seen from space, you have too many. Being called Clark Griswold is NOT a compliment.
- Please, PLEASE make sure all your strands are lit. I shouldn't even have to say this.
- If you're going to do blinkers (but I recommend against it due to this very thing), make sure they're all set to blink the same. Not at the same TIME, but having a running blink next to a twinkler...it makes my eye twitch.
- January 1 is the absolute last day your lights should be lit. NO EXCEPTIONS. The "holidays" don't include Valentine's Day. Or St. Patrick's Day. Or the Fourth of July. There is a special place in hell for people who try to pass off their Christmas lights as patriotism 6 months later.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Consider yourselves warned
It's that time of year again, folks. The holidays are upon us, causing seemingly sane people to be overtaken with holiday spirit to the point that they completely lose their minds. Especially when it comes to holiday decor. So I've come up with some simple guidelines for those that have temporarily taken leave of their senses (if they ever had them) and gone overboard.
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4 comments:
Crap.
LOL I think Leslie's in trouble.
I think you should develop a pen name and submit that to local newspapers. Someone will publish it! Do it!
Uh oh. Put my lights on my tree. Half of one strand is blinking. It all ended on the top of the tree. (insert para man here)
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