seriously....STOP GROWING UP SO FAST!!!

I wish I had believed people when they told me it goes much faster with the second child. I don't know what it is. I guess with Seth it was always so exciting to get to the next stage, since I had never been through it. And now I know that after they're all sweet and cute, they turn three and it's all over....

But really. Look at how much she has changed since her birthday. I know this is when they change the fastest and all that, but that doesn't make me feel any better. LOOK HOW SWEET SHE WAS WHEN SHE WAS ONE! LOOK AT HER LITTLE TOOFERS! SHE EVEN USED TO SMILE FOR PICTURES! She's becoming a LITTLE GIRL.

But ok, it IS cute and fun when they're learning how to talk. My current favorite "anna-isms":

• she says "help you" when she needs help, because I always say "do you need me to help you?"
• if you ask her what a pig says, she says "la la la" because of this book we have where it says "three singing pigs say la la la!".
  
• "I love you" sounds like "I wib yooouuuuu". She says it when I put her down in her crib. I know she doesn't know what it means, but I don't care.
  
• "Seth" is pronounced "Sessss".
  
• For some reason she likes to use this really deep exorcist voice sometimes. Especially when she says "hey baby". Very amusing.
• Frogs (pogs) say "bobbbiittt!"
  

There are tons more, but you get the idea. Intense cuteness all day long. I hate thinking that some day she's going to use that adorable little mouth to tell me she hates me because I won't let her go to some party or something.

Sigh.

I've got the fever

BABY FEVER! Ack. I know I don't want another child, I can barely handle the two I have and after a day of running around with them I'm EXHAUSTED, but...I love babies. Whenever I see one in the 6-12 month range, I am overcome with the need to squish them. I don't squish stranger's babies...I'm not that far gone, but it's tempting.

It's just...it seems like Anna was that little for like 2 seconds and now she's all independent and her own little person. The other day she cried for five minutes because I tried to help her with her fork...she has to do things HERSELF! And she's starting to use sentences. (my favorite was the other day when we were all playing cars: "GET IT CAR!!!") SLOW DOWN! Seth seems like he was a baby for longer, but of course he was my first and he walked so late.

I'm hoping once I start doing clinicals and working and getting to see babies, it will help...hopefully it won't make it worse. Good thing I have an IUD.

Guilt

These are the things I feel guilty about almost daily:

1. The kids watch too much TV.
2. The kids eat too much processed/fast food (I try to limit the fast food to once a week, but they get processed shit every day. They'd starve otherwise!)
3. I'm irritated at Seth so often
4. Anna never gets one on one time with me.
5. I am sending them to daycare. And balking at the $30 a day for the preschool daycare. It would be so good for them!
6. I'm going to school so I can WORK instead of stay home with them.
7. I'm not nearly the supportive wife I should at least try to be. I really get negative about stupid stuff sometimes. LET IT GO, TRACEY!

Gotta love being a mom. Nonstop guilt.

I have a confession

I hate playing cars. If I never had to play cars again for the rest of my life, that would be a-ok with me. That goes for trains, trucks, airplanes...ANY other mode of transportation. I feel like my brain is being sucked out as I drive around the track over and over and OVER again. But I do it. Because Seth wants me to. I try really hard to act like it's fun, too. It's tough some days.

I know some day when he'd rather play with his friends, I'm going to wish he would play with me. Some day when he thinks I'm the most uncool (or whatever word they'll be using then) female on the planet (besides his sister, of course), I'm going to miss these days. But I still hate playing cars.

I wonder if I'll feel the same way about Barbies (or Bratz...seems like Barbie is on her way out, huh?). Speaking of...I'm considering banning Bratz on principle. They're hos! Big pouty lipstick lips, dressed like they're going out to pick up dudes. But then I try to think...did playing with Barbies influence me in any way? I don't think I need boobs big enough to make me fall over and a waist the circumference of a pie pan. Maybe I'm overthinking it.

The things they remember

Seth and I were eating breakfast the other day. I was eating some sort of cereal with flakes, and he said he didn't like that kind. He liked the kind with the sugar on them. I said "frosted flakes" and he said "yeah, frosted flakes. We had them in Myrtle Beach in the little boxes". (we got one of those variety packs of cereal).

So years later, he won't remember how we played on the beach (that one day it wasn't raining), or went to the aquarium, or all the other fun stuff. He'll just remember he had cereal in little boxes. Because THAT was the cool part for him.

Consider yourselves warned

It's that time of year again, folks. The holidays are upon us, causing seemingly sane people to be overtaken with holiday spirit to the point that they completely lose their minds. Especially when it comes to holiday decor. So I've come up with some simple guidelines for those that have temporarily taken leave of their senses (if they ever had them) and gone overboard.

1. Pick a theme and go with it. Santa was not present at the birth of Jesus, so if you have a nativity scene, St. Nick should probably sit this year out.
2. Along the same lines, decide on a color scheme and decorate accordingly. I don't want to see red lights in your trees, blue lights in your bushes, then green lights around your house. It doesn't look festive, it looks stupid.
3. Please rethink any figures that are taller than you. Frosty is sort of scary at 10 feet tall. Is scary the look you're going for? I hope not.
4. If your lights can be seen from space, you have too many. Being called Clark Griswold is NOT a compliment.
   
5. Please, PLEASE make sure all your strands are lit. I shouldn't even have to say this.
   
6. If you're going to do blinkers (but I recommend against it due to this very thing), make sure they're all set to blink the same. Not at the same TIME, but having a running blink next to a twinkler...it makes my eye twitch.
7. January 1 is the absolute last day your lights should be lit. NO EXCEPTIONS. The "holidays" don't include Valentine's Day. Or St. Patrick's Day. Or the Fourth of July. There is a special place in hell for people who try to pass off their Christmas lights as patriotism 6 months later.
   

And yes, I AM the Christmas Lights Police. You got a problem with that?

Ok, I need to get on board

Every year, no, every season change actually, I lament the fact that stores put things out for the next season months in advance, and when the season actually arrives (which is hugely variable in Michigan) there is nothing left. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, and try to get the things I need before I actually need them, but it is just not in my nature.

So it snowed last week, right? Up until that very day, we had been having a very nice fall, not cold at all, so I got complacent. Well, even if it had been cold, I probably would have had the same problem. Anyway, on the very day it snowed I packed up the kids and we went to Target to find some hats and mittens that MATCH. Last year Seth went around all winter with unmatching stuff. I'm such a horrible mom. Nothing at Target, but luckily Meijer right next door had some stuff, but barely. I also looked for boots, and there was NOTHING but spiderman boots...I'm saving those for when he realizes he has a choice.

I've looked at EVERY FREAKING STORE for boots, and they're all gone! One snow, and there are NO BOOTS to be found in toddler sizes anywhere within a 60 mile radius. I found some today at Payless, the last two pairs decent looking boots in either of the kids' sizes, so I snatched them up...the lady said they had JUST come in, and they were almost gone! I'm sure they won't fit their little Flintstone feet and I'll be back to square one. The guy at Penny's wasn't sure they were even going to get another shipment of boots. It has snowed one time, and they've already stopped sending the boots.

So next year, the kids are getting boots, hats, mittens, snow pants and coats in AUGUST. But I still refuse to put up my Christmas tree till after Thanksgiving. So there, retailers.

only a dollar for all this fun???

Chappie found some wax lips for cheap at the gas station...a good time was had by all. Anna doesnt have enough teeth to hold one in, but she tried!

Thanksgiving

So Chappie got a turkey from work and suggested we do Thanksgiving. For everybody. I told him I have never even cooked a whole chicken, so maybe I should have a couple practice runs first...meaning at some point (NOT Thanksgiving) we could make the turkey here.

He told his sister we're going to have our own Thanksgiving here! So now, not only do I have to cook, but I feel totally antisocial and I hope they don't think it was MY idea. He said we could go over later...but they're having dinner at three and there's no way I'm eating that early if I'm cooking it.

Speaking of...why do we have to eat at a weird time just because it's a holiday? I never cared before I had kids, but 3 is right in the middle of Anna's nap and I don't think she wants to get up to eat a huge meal in the middle of the afternoon. At least it's better than MIL...we eat at NOON there! NOON! Who can eat all that at noon?

Anyway. So we have an almost 13 pound turkey for four people...one of whom won't eat ANY turkey and the other who may eat an ounce or two. I stocked up on freezer bags.

Perspective

I've been having a hard time with staying at home lately...I've just been feeling nuts. But then I thought, well, it sure beats the hell out of doing packets, now doesn't it. So now my new mantra is "no packets no packets no packets" whenever the kids are driving me insane.

I think my head may explode

I have a test Friday over NINE CHAPTERS. Very information filled chapters, about the spinal cord, brain, senses, etc etc etc. I KNOW I should have tried harder to retain the info as I went along, but when you have a test more than a month after the last one, you get a little lazy.

PLUS, I think it's a little (ok a lot) excessive for me to have to know what every area in the brain does when I'm just going to be doing ULTRASOUNDS, for Pete's sake! I don't even really need to know where the brain is!!!

Plus, Anna is starting a sleeping strike...hopefully it's just teeth, because she's been such a good sleeper from 6 months old till now. She'll usually go 9pm to 8am, but last night she was up till 11 and woke up at 6:30, so 3 1/2 hours LESS sleep than usual. I'm surprised she's even in a halfway decent mood.

So anyway. If you're wondering where I am, I'm picking up the pieces of my brain from my desk.

The sweetest thing....

I love when my kids fall asleep with an animal or doll. I think it is one of my favorite things, to go in and see them sleeping with a stuffed dog or naked baby under their arm.

Men and sports

I can see why guys like sports. The cameraderie, the competion, the need to dominate and destroy-or at least watch somebody else dominate and destroy. I can even enjoy a good hockey or football game now and then. But there are some things I just don't get. Namely:

• They can remember the stats from the last 30 Superbowls but cannot remember what kind of butter to get at the store...when it's WRITTEN DOWN for them.
• They can grasp the intricacies of 8 different sports and their rules...but cannot grasp the simple process of turning their clothes right side out before they put them in the hamper.
• They know the names of the players for every team in the NHL, but cannot remember the name of your cousin, who you speak of and to regularly.
• Their team can be ahead by 100 points and there is no way the other team will come back, but they'll still get pissed if you suggest turning the channel when there are still 2 minutes left in the game.
• They can talk to some guy they don't even know about the basketball game for two hours, but their wives can't manage to get two minutes of conversation about anything.
  
• Baseball. I just don't get baseball at all.
  

Call CPS

I took the kids grocery shopping this afternoon. My first mistake. After I had to remove Anna from the car cart because she started pushing on Seth with her head (she has a good future as a battering ram), Seth said he had to go pee. So I say, "ok, they have big potties here" because he likes to know this ahead of time and will sometimes choose to wait. He said he didn't have to go after all. And then commences with this injured puppy noise. FOR THE ENTIRE TIME I'M SHOPPING. (all the while Anna is pissed because I took her out of the car, so she's not happy, either). I ask him 50 times if he has to go pee, and he says NO! By the time we get to check out, he's all out crying and everyone is looking at me like I just pinched him or something. He said he didn't want to go there!!! I can't be held responsible. So we paid and I left our cart full of (paid for) groceries sitting there and made him go to the bathroom. The minute I got his pants down he was going. Poor kid.

Miss you, dad

Tomorrow my dad will have been gone 3 years. It sucks. I mean, I guess it gets easier, or at least you get used to it, but it doesn't suck any less. As the kids grow up it makes me so sad that he isn't here to see it, that they don't get to know him. He was such a fun guy, and kids loved him...he was everybody's favorite uncle, even to kids of his friends he was "Uncle Rog".

He was the sort of guy that would give you the shirt off his back, then take you out for a beer to get your mind off it. Sometimes I thought he was TOO nice, and that people took advantage of that...but he always knew the score. I guess he just liked to help people to help them, not for gratitude or anything else in return.

He was a great dad, too. If I needed anything, he'd go without if he had to so he could help me. He never had lots of money, it wasn't that important to him, but he would come up with it if I needed it...like the time I got into that accident with no insurance and he didn't even lecture me, just gave me the $600 to fix the other girl's car. If I was having a hard time with a boyfriend or with my mom, I could call up my dad and he'd give me good, practical advice, while sounding impartial. Later he would tell me he wanted to go kick somebody's ass about it, but he would always make me work through things on my own.

Lots of people say he IS around, he CAN see me and the kids, which may or may not be true. I wish I had that kind of faith. I wish I could sense him around me, talk to him and feel like he could hear me. I just feel like he's gone. Sometimes I have dreams about him and I try SO hard to hang on to them, try to remember every detail, because that's the only time I really feel like he isn't so gone. But the dreams fade and I'm still left with this hole in my life.

It sucks.

Dream big, little man!

I know I posted this on the boards, but I want to remember it later...

Seth was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up and he said "Batman". Breathe easy tonight, world. Seth will take care of it.

Jaws

Got a new vacuum. It reminds me of the vacuum on Mr. Mom, hence the "Jaws". (if you don't remember that, GO WATCH THE MOVIE!). Main difference being, the only person that will be using THIS Jaws is MRS. Mom.

Anyway. I couldn't talk the husband into a Dyson (he being of the "for that much it better vacuum itself!!" camp) so opted for this Bissell. It has these very handy dust cup thingies, which let you see just how much dust you sucked out of your carpet. Horrifying. No wonder my kid can't stop coughing.

Ok, so far this week, this is the most exciting thing that has happened. Good times.

I can't believe I took a picture of a VACUUM. Then blogged about it. What have I become?!?!

PUMPKINS!

That's how we say it in our house. "PUMPKINS!!!" We're very excited about the pumpkins.


Look! Seth didn't gag at all!





Yes, he is in his underwear. He
was sick all weekend, why bother
with clothes?


I wish I'd never taught them to
say "cheese". Now I can never
get a normal smile.

The usual suspects

Name: Seth Charles
Age: 3 1/2
Nicknames: Bubby, Punkin Head
Likes: things that go, tormenting
his sister, lemonade
Dislikes: food that is not processed
beyond recognition, people
touching his feet


Name: Anna Elizabeth
Age: 1 1/2
Nicknames: Trouble, Banana
Likes: milk, doggies, shoes
Dislikes: Being tormented by
her brother, wearing shoes in
the car, being cold


Name: Lucy (Kitty)
Age: undetermined
Nicknames: Smelly Cat, Houdini
Likes: naps, Whiska Lickins, naps,
Whiska Lickins, escaping to the great
outdoors
Dislikes: vacuums, tail pulling, head
butting, being chased

Here a blog there a blog everywhere a blog blog

Add me to the legions! I'm a *gasp* blogger.